my hands tremble as i stand

invisible but not divisible

this room, you left me empty in

i won't call for you, anymore

i put words in your mouth

because yours don't come out

you love this silence

you use it like a punishment

you dish it

to keep me out

of your mind

i've lost mine

and i smile

because i hold my own truth

the last thing, i couldn't lose

and from this moment

i am free

i let the little foxes free

so they can roam and croon

in fields that bloom

with happiness, fleeting

i let go

i was fighting too fiercely

because it meant something

but it meant only to me

what it means to you

is not my monkey

not my voices

when i wanted to say

it's ok to be

angry

at me

deny me

in your history

that's ok

i did this to you

you say

the soft

the gentle

was always me

but caged and afraid

i went for you

snarling, as scared cats do

i forgive me

i forgive you

i forgive the world i wanted to see burn

because it took from me

and you

and i saw myself in the Colosseum

sweared by my hairs for you

because i thought

it was the right thing, to do

i was wrong, i've been so wrong

all along

so i say this gently

i want to make the bed

the way you did

with care and grace

as if it was a holy ritual

and every scoff

you heard from me

i remember saying

all of it

like hurt i made and gave

in a grave i will keep it

don't let them ceremonize it

i ask for nothing on the tombstone

leave it blank

for graffiti to say, i was here

you

didn't deserve it

when i became unnerved

and you tried to be kind

but i tested your patience

which you gave to me

in abundance

my apology is too late

i know

i'm on the road, always

i end writing to silence

letters into the wind

poems like amateur mist-y

tears

fears

i fear nothing now